Potty Training
So you are getting sick of the diapers…
Buying them, putting them on, cleaning up the mess while your toddler is fighting you..
Understandable!
Time for some potty training :)
Before you start the potty training process, I would recommend putting out a potty in your bathroom for a couple months before you start as a way to start introducing the potty, putting them on it sometimes between diaper changes as practice and they get used to the sight of it. There are many potty options out there, but honestly they are just taking a shit in it so doesn’t matter if it looks pretty or is fancy. I like this ikea one since it’s cheap, functional, easy to clean, a bit higher in the front for male parts. I would recommend getting more than one for different floors or bathrooms so you don’t have to go running for one when training. I also find the actual toilet can be a bit intimidating for first time users so the potty is a good transitional piece until they are ready for the toilet. And you can place the potty wherever you want.
I would also for look for these signs of ‘potty readiness’ in your toddler before you do consider trying out the training..
signs they are ready
like to watch you or siblings go to the bathroom
interested in using potty
tell you when they go pee or poo
pulling at their diaper when wet (don’t want to sit in dirty diaper)
having drier diaper for longer periods of time (or over nap time)
When you start seeing some of these signs and YOU are mentally psyched to try it out, clear your schedule for at least 2-3 days. What I did with all my three kids, is I stayed at home for 2-3 days and devoted my time to the potty training. I would have them naked from the waste down. You can have them wear long socks if it’s cooler weather. Have the potty visible and preferably close to a bathroom. Depending on your floor layout that might be tricky, but I do tend to prefer to have the potty closer to the bathroom so it’s not as big of a transition when you move it to the bathroom or start using the toilet as they remember where to go. You can explain to them to use the potty when they need to go pee or poo. If you have had the potty out for a while (as recommended) and put them on before, they should understand what you are talking about. Every 30 minutes if they haven’t gone pee yet, have them sit on the potty and see if they need to go. And you continue this all day expect for nap time and bed time. When they do successfully pee or poo on the potty give them praise and let them know they did a good job. You can set up a reward system as well. Like a little treat - I liked to use chocolate chips. Or you can use a sticker chart that leads to buying a toy once reaching a certain point on the chart. When they have an accident or don’t make it to the potty, do not shame them or let them feel like they did something wrong. This is part of the learning process. I remember getting frustrated with my first and it just made their training decline. You don’t want them to develop any anxiety over using the potty. Something that is supposed to just be natural - using the bathroom. When they miss, just let them know ‘it’s okay’, ‘accidents happen’, ‘next time try to use the potty or let me know’.
After a couple days being sequestered at home and if the process is going well, start doing some short outings.
When you decide to venture out in those first couple days always get them to use the potty before leaving the house even if they say they don’t have to go! Give them a gentle reminder if they need to use the potty every 30 minutes or so since toddlers can get easily distracted when out and about! Especially if it’s somewhere fun. Always bring multiple bottoms for accidents, minimum 3 pairs, and bags to put the soiled clothes with some wipes! You can also bring a travel potty with you if the places you go don’t have ready access to bathrooms or you don’t want to use public bathrooms.
It is totally normal once you have potty trained them if they regress for a day or two. It’s okay for them to have an off day espeically if they are not feeling well or teething. Just be patient. Don’t shame them. Let them know accidents do happen and to use the potty next time. And it may go back to normal once they are feeling better.
It is also totally normal if they start having accidents when they put on underwear or start wearing it. Especially if you had them mostly naked while training them at home for the 2-3 days. Putting on underwear almost feels like a diaper, a layer on their parts and it just takes a bit of time to get used to it. I almost consider the underwear a separate training session. Almost like another week of getting used to it! You can have them naked at home and then start putting underwear on more and more around the house. Going out and about is a different story. Just bring plenty of spare changes until they get the hang of it!
A couple of things to keep in mind before you start the potty training process:
Set expectations low : do not go into it thinking your toddler will be fully potty trained after a couple days. It absolutely could happen, but not always the case and may take more time. Know that accidents will happen and it may get messy at times!
Don’t overcomplicate it : Keep it simple. You are just trying to encourage them to use the potty to go pee or poo. Positive reinforcement when they do it. Encourage to use the potty next time, when they don’t. Don’t overanalyze any time they don’t get it. Just keep trying and know it will take some time.
Don’t make it a whole experience : Not everyone would agree with me on this, but I don’t think you should make it a whole experience. You are teaching them a simple necessity in life. Going on the toilet. Getting it done, getting in and out of the bathroom. I feel using potty decorations, constant explanations and stories, giving them a whole experience like taking their time, playing music, throwing a party after every time they get it right - it’s unnecessary. And it builds up this thing that should just be a simple process. And if you set these high expectations for using the bathroom, they may expect it later on and have anxiety when it’s not up to these high standards.
It should not be that hard : Doesn’t mean potty training is a breeze. It won’t be easy. But if you find that it’s stressing you or your toddler out. You are getting anxiety about it. It becomes a battle to get them to use the potty or stressful to take them anywhere because of the potty. These are signs that you may need to put the training on pause neither you or your toddler may not be ready. It should not be that much of a challenge. If they are truly ready to use the potty, it won’t be that challenging.
Be flexible : if you find that it is getting too challenging or the training is not going well, be open minded that you may have to pause the training for a bit. You can still have the potty present for in between diaper changes, but maybe they are just not ready. Don’t stress out about not getting it right the first time around. Your toddler just might need more time in their development to be both mentally and physically ready to use the potty. Nothing you did wrong necessarily. You can always try again in a month or two.
signs they are not ready
not wanting to go on the potty- developing any fear or anxiety
asking for their diaper or not wanting to take it off after sleeping
fighting you on using the potty
constant accidents for a few days
I attempted potty training with both my girls at 18 months. It started off great, it went well for a week or so, but then they started regressing. Fighting to use the potty and lots of accidents! I could tell they just weren’t ready yet! I tried it again for both around the 2 year mark and it went so much smoother that time around. It also wasn’t as much work since they already had some practice from the first attempt and from leaving the potty out.
With my son, we started training him about a month before he turned two. He started showing signs he was ready months before, but I wanted to wait to train him in the warmer months so wouldn’t have to stress as much when he had an accident. I wasn’t ready yet! He was a breeze probably the easiest from the bunch which is funny because everyone says boys are harder to train. I think it was a combination of having older siblings to look up to (FOMO with wanting to do what they were doing), having experience from doing it with the other kids, not overcomplicating the training, having more patience and also waiting till we were both ready to start.
From my experience, the 2 year mark worked out perfectly for all my kids. You try too early (18 months) they may not be physically ready for the training, holding it in, communicating when they need to go etc. I didn’t try much later than 2 years. But I also feel like if you wait too long into the toddler months, you can get more resistance and defiance from a toddler as they can get like that in general from being a toddler!
Once your toddler is potty trained, I do like to switch to overnight pull ups for bedtime since it feels more like underwear. It’s also just easier to put on toddlers. Make sure using the potty before bed becomes integrated into the bedtime routine.