18 Months — #momlife

This a fun age, but also a challenging one. Their personality starts really coming through! They also love playing with you and interacting with people around them. They start having more preferences, things they don’t like and a mind of their own. But it also starts to get challenging because of this. They start fighting back on doing things because it’s not what they want to do in the moment. They want to be independent, do things on their own, but they don’t really know to yet! They start realizing that they have their own voice, can say ‘no’ and have an ‘opinion’ on matters like not wanting to get dressed. As much as it is so cool to see their personalities forming and acting more like a kid than a baby - it also can get frustrating when they don’t want to cooperate. Especially when you are on a schedule or running late for something. They don’t understand that you have to pick up their siblings at a specific time from school or their gymboree class is starting soon and you need to leave or else you will miss it. These little ones do understand a lot, but their are some concepts like time that they can’t quite grasp yet and don’t understand why they cannot finish what they are doing?!?!?

A common thing toddlers like to fight you on around this time is getting dressed or changing their diaper. Why can’t I wear my pjs all day, mom..?! I felt like the 360 diapers helped with the changing diaper part since they act as pull ups and you can change them standing up or while they are playing even. Getting dressed can be a bit trickier. Even though toddlers like to start pushing back on things, they still get easily distracted so use that to your advantage. When they start getting frustrated with something, regroup and try again in a few minutes when they already forgot about what they were fighting you on. Or distract them with a toy or a snack or a recycling truck passing by. Whatever it is to get them to be more compliant. Another approach is to give them something to look forward to. ‘If we get dressed, we get visit grandma’s house after or go to the park’. All I have to do is let my mom dress me and then I get to play..why not?! Granted it doesn’t always work, but doesn’t hurt to try. That’s why when you are leaving the house with a toddler ALWAYS give yourself an extra 10-15 minute buffer in case they decide not to cooperate.

These little toddlers do want to be independent, but are not always able to do things on their own and that can be frustrating for them. You have to find some give and take with a toddler and try to give them more things they CAN do and not always things they CAN‘T do. As a person you would be frustrated if someone kept telling you NO to everything! This age is a time they may want to start climbing everything !! And that’s okay since it is a part of their learning process and exploration. But of course we don’t want them to hurt themselves. Assist them on things that take supervision to climb. If you don’t what to encourage them climbing something, try to suggest things they can climb. No you can’t climb onto the table, but you can climb on this couch. Stools are great for this age so they can gain some independence to do things like wash their hands, brush their teeth etc. But also keep an eye out for these stools since my toddler learned fast how to move them around to places they wanted to climb onto.

This is also an age when it’s important to have some parenting conversations with your spouse or partner about how you want to deal with your toddler when they don’t get what they want. Because they will start getting upset when they don’t get what they want and may start throwing tantrums. You have to have these talks to decide on what is reasonable to give to your toddler and what is not? Where to draw the line? It’s not okay to have a treat before dinner, but maybe after dinner if they eat well. It’s okay for them to climb on certain structures in the house, but not ones where they can injure themselves. It may sound silly to discuss such trivial things, but you may be surprised at how much partners can clash on what they think is reasonable to give into. And also how to deal with your toddler when they react to a NO. Do you give them a time out or quiet time and at what age you think is appropriate? Do you explain to them simply and let them work it out on their own ? Do you comfort them immediately and wait for them to calm down before having a talk? And of course in what situations do you do these things..? These are conversations that you should have with your partner now to make sure you are on the same page. Your child will just get mixed messages if you guys react differently all the time and it will become confusing for them. They are not able to learn how to deal with their growing and changing emotions as a result.

Maybe you can discuss these topics on an overnight date night. If you haven’t already, it may be a good time for you and your partner to have an overnight getaway after all this time. It will be good for your toddler to get used to someone else putting them to bed for a change. It’s better to start these things earlier in so your toddler can be adaptable to different situations and sleeping arrangements. It makes it easier for you in the long run when you want to go away with or without them. You can handle it and your toddler can too! This also includes going somewhere overnight with your toddler if you haven’t been away with them yet. Doesn’t have to be a vacation just a change of scenery so your toddler be able to fall asleep in diverse sleeping environments and not only their own bed. Sleepover at grandmas, weekend at cottage or at a hotel near some activity.

Around this time, they may also..if you haven’t already guessed..have another sleep regression. Time for another one! I find this one can overlap with some seperation anxiety. They can wake up screaming for you wondering where you went?!? It’s good to go comfort them, but don’t get them too used to the extra cuddles. Try to stick with your bedtime routine as much as possible and try not to pick them up. Or if you do, put them back down once after they calm down and maybe stay in the room once they start getting drowsy again. To help with this seperation anxiety you may want to consider putting a stuffed animal in their bed with them. You can even make it an event for them to go pick one out themselves. So when they wake up in the middle of the night confused, they may turn to their stuffy instead of you. It may take some time for them to actually use it and come to rely on it. But just keep leaving it in their crib and you will be surprised one day when they sleep soundly and fall asleep cuddling it.

Sleep sacks are still great during this age. They have a lot more larger options for not just babies these days. My first two kids, I started giving them blankets around 12 months, but around this time they also started to take off their diaper or climb out of the crib. I feel those issues could’ve been avoided with a continued use of sleep sack which we did with our third.

Another TIP I wold give for bedtime routine is to change up WHO does it. Depending on your living situation and work schedule, try not to always have the same person putting your toddler to bed. When we had our second kid, my husband and I got used to having him put down the older sibling and me the younger (of course unless one of us was away in the evening) and my younger one got so used to it that she would FREAK if my husband tried to put her to bed. We didn’t change it up enough. And it took a lot of time and protests to fix that. SO try to mix up WHO is putting them to bed just to make it easier for your life and also get your toddler to be a little more flexible with their routines. Even when an aunt or grandpa is over, getting them to do the routine is a great practice for them as well.

Trick or treat

Halloween with my second toddler

Get ready for some more bumps and falls. Especially if they are just starting to walk now, there will be many! You try your best to prevent the falls, but also want to give them some freedom- it’s a fine line. If they have been walking for a bit, they will start getting confident with it and try to run and climb more. Be ready for lots of hugs and kisses when they do get boo boos and some bandaids and polysporin kids always help especially in the summer time when they get more scraps being so exposed.

Around this time, they learn more how to socialize well with other children. By this time, my son was getting more gentle with other kids although you still needed to keep a vigilant eye. It may take more time, like with my second. They start to learn concepts like sharing with other kids and playing along. They won’t always get it right, but as long as you are supervising and giving them gentle reminders they will get the hang of it.

AT this time, they might start becoming more picky with food or have some favourite meals they devour no problem. Part of their growing up. It’s okay to sometimes try to sneak in extra veggies or add more flavour to dishes to entice them to eat. They also may want to be more independent with eating which is great for their development, but a bit of a pain for us parents. Wanting to eat with a spoon (even though they don’t know how) or don’t want you to help them eat or they want to just use their hands. Encourage the independence even if it gets real messy. I mean how else are they going to learn??! And count your blessings that they are at least eating. Just be ready for some sweeping and wet paper towels to clean up the mess afterwards. Milk is still great for toddlers whichever type you are using. You will probably be down to just 3 times a day by now: morning, nap time and evening. If you haven’t already you should reduce bottle usage and use straw bottles or just regular cups to drink their milk. Better for their speech development and to reduce chances of ear infections.

TIP: If you are thinking of potty training soon, buy a potty now and start leaving it out for them to get used to it. Even start putting them on in in between diaper changes just to see if they will pee. It will make potty training easier later on and making going on the potty not such a foreign concept to them.

Doctor Visit

Routine vaccinations
Check measurements and development
Questions like: Do they say 20 words or more? Hold a cup to drink ? Pick up & eat finger food?