2 > 3 Jump

2> 3

In my experience, I didn’t find this jump as difficult because we had a bit of a bigger age gap. 4 years between the second and third. Now don’t get me wrong — it was still hard! Especially being pregnant at the beginning of a pandemic. But it’s just not much as a shock to your system because you are already used to the no breaks, all consuming parenthood, family life etc. Why not add more to the mix?! Get ready for a loud household!

I have heard from other people, that when they had all 3 very young, that this was a harder jump. Which makes sense! Imagine having 2 toddlers and a baby?!

But when you do have that larger age gap it does feel like your starting over almost. Going back to the beginning again in relation to your older kids and how independent they are now. At 4 years and up, they start being more independent and go to school full time. Whereas now you are restarting the baby phase: changing diapers again, breastfeeding/bottle feeding etc. You have to refresh on your memory on what you did when and what to expect from them at what age?!

Now that you have reached 3 children, you & partner are actually outnumbered all the time! There is no ‘you take one, I’ll take the other’. Someone will always have to deal with multiple. However, a perk is you can get help from the older siblings. Which can back fire sometimes. When they are too rough with the baby or do things incorrectly or want to help too much. There is a definate learning curve to get their assistance that’s actually helpful. But it’s still nice to see their interaction with one another and have a short break. Or at least have some time to get something accomplished around the house. And of course you are teaching the older siblings about responsibility - perfect learning moment.

When you do have the two older siblings in a similar phase (i.e. school age kids), it’s a bit easier to conquer and divide so you don’t feel as outnumbered. One parent can take the two more independant kids while the other takes the baby.

When I talk about embracing parenthood life, it involves including them in most of what you are doing. There is no more running errands on your own, going to events on your own or visiting people. Not saying you have to bring all 3 kids out with you, but you find a balance with your partner in including them in your day to day. And it makes it fair to both partners that they are not watching all 3 kids all the time on their own. Obviously there are times when you can’t bring them with you, but your kids should be doing alot of what you are doing. You are a family unit.

When the older kids are at a sleepover at grandma’s house and the one child at home it seems so much more quiet and peaceful. It’s funny when you jump to multiples, you reflect and realize how easy it is watching the one. But at that moment watching one, you think it’s difficult. It’s all about perspective. That’s is why you never continously complain about your one child to another parent who has multiple because it’s annoying as hell!